 |
Royal Milan & Bordighera H³ NewsletterJuly 15, 1998 |
 |
|
Royal Milan & Bordighera H³ NewsletterJuly 15, 1998 |
|
From: Duff Robin < rmd@msoft.it >
Date: Wed Jul 15 17:02:48 1998
Subject: #787
#787 Monday 20 July'98
meeting 7:30 pm in The Old Fox pub in PIAZZA SANT' AGOSTINO. On Green Line.
Run fee lit. 5,000. Hare(s), live or otherwise required. Reply if you are
coming so we can reserve a table. Contact Tonedeaf.
.......................................................
#788 Saturday 25 July'98
meeting 5 pm Bergamo. Details from Stuffing coming soon.
.......................................................
Anyone around in August for hashing?
.......................................................
Ingrid Larsson says Magnarp is fully booked 7-9 August'98.
.......................................................
Hares and venues required. To book a trail contact Simon"Safe SoX"Brickle sbrickle@poboxes.com or sbrickle@comm2000.it
02-4120797 Home
02-43887948 Work
0347-4325214 Cellular
.......................................................
ITALIAN NASH HASH 1998
A Welcome From Gus :-
A wis a wee bitty upset ah couldnae materialise tae yis at Nash Hash through
the body of yon Tonedeef due tae the fact he wis awa tae the Vikin' Invasion
in Glesgae an' that. Tha only thing ah cud dae wis muck aboot wi' the wirin'
oan Paint Stripper's COOP pram contrapshun in the hope some glaikit b*gger
wid think it wis ma ghosty self. Nae such luck!
WELCOME HASH 26th June
Trail Set by Rome H3. Hares, Ron "Deep Throat" Rose, Speed Hump, Duracell and
Succulent.
Eric the Viking missed this one, arriving as he did at midnight, but made a
valiant Nordic (or Scottish?) effort to dry out the hash before it had properly
begun, by drinking the night through. The hash itself involved running around a
bit looking for flour. Can't remember if Paint Stripper stripped during this
one, but probably.
ASIDE: Eric the Viking (who in Scottish circles is aka Eric the Retard),
evidently assumed Tonedeaf was going to be at Nash Hash, so sent him the
following e-mail prior to leaving London followed by Tonedeaf's reply who from
the scant info had not fully realised Eric was not referring to Edinburgh.
Hi Robin,
Where can I meet you on Friday night, since I don't arrive until 21.30.
ON ON
Eric the Viking
Eric
The Stables Bar, Edinburgh. I'm setting the Edinburgh (Friday Night) H3 run
as Running Sore got the gout after drinking two pints of The Full Malkie in
the Cask & Barrel after TNT H3's run.
Tonedeaf
The Hash route (La Fratta not Edinburgh) was confused and so were the hashers.
This 'torchlight hash' was, interestingly, done in daylight - but some obedient
hashers carried torches anyway. It worked up a sweat though. And a thirst.
Hand over of the Nash Hash flame by Adriatic H3 at the Beer stop. Received by
RMBH3 in African dress beating drums and playing strange instruments. The flame
lasted until the circle, where it died despite the efforts of Bwana and
Duracell to revive it with a bottle of paraffin and a touch of self
immolation.
Retiring to La Fratta for circle and dinner. Down downs to many familiar faces
from far away, many of them welcome: Welcome DD to hashers from: RMBH3, Rome
H3, Adriatic H3, Kenya, Sweden, Tunis, England, Scotland, Austria, Switzerland,
(Basel, Zürich, Leman Geneva, Lausanne H3's) DD for Strawberry 4Skin for
forgetting No Grappa's hash gear. DD to No Grappa for trusting him. Second
prize for arrival:, Bart & Leone, Directions screwed up only found us because
they saw hashers in a field and followed the flour
Dinner was served in the newly restored internals of the building and wine from
Bibione was drunk. Many hashers demonstrated their lack of grip on reality by
attempting to fill their glass with the siphon above the level of the wine
vessel - expecting gravity to somehow work in reverse and push wine uphill.
Even with two RA's in residence this failed, and so volunteers assumed a
kneeling position and gave suction (experience showed) to re-establish flow of
the life enhancing, brain depleting liquid.
ULL SCOTTISH BREAKFAST (heart attack on a plate) 27th June Vernie and Hairy
Mary were the inspiration for such delights as; Scrambled egg (boarding school
style) Black pudding (fried) White pudding (fried) Bacon (fried) Haggis (fried
- but with whisky, so that's all right then.Eric the Viking drank most of the
whisky.) Christmas cake - I think (fried). - oh, and Spumante. I think Paint
Stripper stripped.
During this gourmet feast hash cash (No Grappa, delegated by Strawberry 4Skin,
again) was collected and kikoi's distributed. Unfortunately the caps were
mostly for three year olds. Maybe if the heads stopped throbbing the caps might
have fit better - but at least they can be used as beer can insulators. Short
Cut hash-haberdashed like a good 'un but accepted all currencies (Belgian
Francs anyone?). Euro's only next year.
The trip to Sienna was delayed by the appearance of 'Il Sultano the Calif of
Nash Hash' from the balcony resembling the one in St Peter's. The masses
prostrated and genuflected before his worthiness and were suitably blessed
(yes, I think blessed) in their mission.
On on to Sienna. Mostly by bus but since this was a Milan HHH organised event
it was sold out and overflow capacity was required in private motor's. On the
road out of La Fratta Paint Stripper stripped. On arriving in Sienna some
people were surprised to find the Bus was unable to drive right into il Campo.
During our walk there we were asked (as we were all kikoid and be-capped) "Are
you people Buddhists?" "Hash, Hash:" we inscrutably replied with the
appropriate two fingered Zen gesture.
We convened in the centre of il Campo which had been fitted out with extra
seating around the perimeter so that more tourists could view the spectacle of
the Italian Nash hash Circle. We began with a quick "Father Abraham" and then
set of on the Sienna Walking Trail, set by Rough Knight and Ingrid ("I am from
Sweden") Larsen. This flour and photo trail involved some some spectacular
"picture checks" checking for images that turned out to be the main monuments
of Sienna. These were found and suitably desecrated by Hash songs. An
interesting pool, at the bottom of some steps, was turned into a swim stop by
Fabulous and Robert Cuffley (from Tunis H3, later to be named Slippery Wet)
They didn't quite strip, and Paint Stripper was curiously absent. Bwana left a
plastic bag containing hash gear and a cellphone in the middle of the road. It
was (incredibly) found much later by lost hashers (Wellington and
Stainless,Geneva H3).
Finally back to Il Campo and a closing circle and song. Singing in the Rain
impressed the masses and was recorded on numerous videos (we should sell
rights) including the final bottom baring - later defended by comparison with
Michealangelo's David (who moons continuously at tourists in Florence).
The authorities decided to keep the stadium seating in place after we left.
It may prove useful for some horsey event they were planning. Excellent Cheap
Lunch for 70 hashers in cool Tratt, in Sienna: Bwana got DD for lost property.
Eric went to sleep, couldn't be woken to get the bus. But, waited for Eric.
Cunninglinguist and White Fang went to find him and bus left them all in Sienna
(quite right!).
ITALIAN NASH HASH SAT 27th JUNE
Set by RMBH3. Hares Bwana + Andrew Knowleman. Hares got lost setting it on
Friday and nearly died of heat exhaustion. About 1.5 hours were cut out by
Bwana leading the pack through a farmhouse and across a field in search of his
own trail. The tractor driver he asked looked back, blankly.Eric re-appeared
with CL and WF. They had taken a taxi, but how did they know where the trail
started?? Lucky for them they found us where the trail was cut, or they would
have followed the unfinished trail into Death Valley and never have been seen
again! (could have been a good thing?) Robert Cuffley took another swim stop in
the hilltop village of Petroio,this time in the private pool of a luxury villa.
Gus knows why he wasn't arrested
Circle - back at La Fratta
The Calif appeared again with his retinue and gave down down to Robert
Cuffley for watching football. Threatened to do something Arabian to him
with a long spiky thing.
Hashers from furthest away were given DD, Khan family from Nairobi H3 Vernie
was named Scottish Sausage.
Followed by : Cocktails by Stuffing, individually shaken, not stirred, in
honour of Ingrid Larsen.
Closely followed by: NASH HASH Dinner: Demijohns of wine, tons of grub, an
illegal raffle organised by R. Knight. Prizes were weird African things and
a week for two in Bibione, (won by Sue Green). Best dressed hasher award,
won by Duracel (Rome H3) dressed in two African Kikois.
After dinner and the usual songs Lorenzo produced his guitar, and gave a great
performance as a one man band. The whole hash danced or wobbled about on the
floor and Lorenzo was proclaimed a genius by all. If only he could have
overcome his hangover sufficiently to appear at the next days' circle he would
have had a hash name and have been nominated RMBH3 Music Master.
Followed by: Car Disco till late.
Nite Life: Cunninglinguist went for a run at 4am, tripped over a fence and
sustained injuries (fortunately nothing minor)
Semi-clad bodies seen writhing on the lawn at midnight. Who could that have
been?
Why do the beds squeak so much?
Sunday, Healthy Breakfast: Smoked Salmon & champagne. Eric finished off the
whisky.
Trail: Live Hare of the Dog set by Adriatic H3. Hares Narcoleptic and Wee
Willy had been chosen at the disco at 1.30am. HOT HOT HOT! Load of girls were
sent off to make a beer stop Hares couldn't reach the beer stop, got caught.
Cunninglinguist and Wet Dream (Berks H3) got lost, crossed a dike and arrived
back in time for a down down.
Circle: Hares debagged and punished with the Calif's long spiky thing by the
(abandoned) beer stop girls (Foreplay, Lubrikate, Wrong Stockings, Humpette,
Short Cut, the names read like the plot of a porno film) Robert Cuffley named
Wet and Slippery for his perpetual Swim Stops.
Not to be outdone the Pope (yes, it was he) gave us our third religious
experience of the weekend and appeared in order to celebrate a hash wedding;
Bwana + Twin Juggs. She forgot her wedding dress and improvised with paper
wrapping which gradually unfolded during the ceremony (nice navy blue school
knickers ,TJ!). Marriage duly consummated (a bit roughly, I thought) before the
Pope in the circle.
PS A post wedding note from TJ has fallen into the hands of the hash scribe.
It is incumbent on me to respect the dignity of the RMBH3 GM, so I will only
quote the embarrassing bits:
She begins: "Hello darling, hubby, sweetikins" (yuk) . After several comments
about consummation, she reveals: "I was just in such a tizzy from the wedding
that I believe I left my precious wedding veil (which of course I want our
daughter to wear at her wedding) in my room at La Fratta Of course it was just
the excitement of the wedding and had nothing to do with down-downs and I'm
just an itsy bitsy bit sick of packing." This, remember is the girl who just
forgot her wedding dress."Would you like to see my... (unpublishable) I sent it
to a few people... (so that's what kind of girl she is) . It's important that
everyone, especially members of the female sex, know that ...(sorry,
unpublishable)" "...and (he) explained to me that he was thinking of becoming
Muslim so he could marry up to 4 wives." The Bastard! She finishes "You
didn't get to see all the lingerie I brought with me." Enough, enough!. Back to
the circle:
Paint Stripper stripped (normality at last) this time on top of a stone pyramid
and was given a down down whilst up up there. Paint Stripper reappearing
clothed - symbollickally indicated the end of the hash and: The circle and the
1998 Italian Nash Hash was sombrely closed and the torch passed on to ROME for
1999.
Leaving fun: Car problems, Wet & Slippery's sexy sports car wouldn't start and
was pushed. Paint Stripper's (unsexy) beer wagon/supermarket trolley wouldn't
start and was also pushed. It was heavier because it was loaded to the roof
with excess beer and wine. (is there such a thing as 'excess beer and wine'?).
Iron Bum and Rita made noble efforts to clear up the mess while others slept.
LAST WORD FROM OUR HEROIC BEER MASTER:
"Hi TD ,
I'm just back from Sinalunga and i feel dead. As usual I slept only few hours a
night and beer working filling fridges and coll boxes all day . I miss you this
time and SPIRIT of GUS! Yesterday, after Italian Nash Hash was officially
closed, I was smoking with Ingrid and RK enjoing my cigarette, suddendly a
voice called me saying Hei PS your car is dead ! So I stop smoking to verify
this terrible news , and it was true. After a push the engine worked again but
the thought was I can't switch off the engine anymore if I'm alone with no more
hashers helping me to push the beer wagon and you imagine with all stuff
damigians, beer crates, cool boxes, bags etc. loaded in. After all I decided
to leave thinking what would be happened to me and to the Panda plus Sacha the
hasher (Annie's dog). I drove all the way back home with the thought to be
halted on the autostrada in a supermarket trolly full of hash stuff. Finally
I got home with no problem. So, please TD could you forward this short story
and good end, I mean RMB supermarket trolley is still alive and ready for more
performances around the world this summer (e.g. Sweden next August)."
ON ON, ciao .
PAINT STRIPPER
Many Thanks for Contributions. Edited by Strawberry Foreskin
| :-) | SUBSCRIBE to THE INFORMER, the only magazine for Expats in Italy that ALSO gives you a run for your money. |
|---|---|
| :-) | "ON-INN" to "Ristorante Samsons" (Eritriano), Via Melzo 28 (MI)... |
| :-) | Macduff's Pub, via A. Volta, for Gillespie's stout. Best beer-stop in town. |
| :-) | "CHECKING" with Dr Joergen Draeby, D.D.S. General Dentistry for adults and children speaks English, Italian, and Danish, Via Giovanni Boccaccio 47 Milano (MM1 conciliazione) Tel / FAX 02-498.4974 Discount for Hashers |
| :-) | Bar Ristorante SERVUS, Via Cagnola 6 (MI) Tel 02-33603003. Con la consumazione di un piatto vi offriamo un DOWN-DOWN. |
| :-) | Trattoria La Brace, Via Novara 383 (opposite Bosco in Citta). Canadians Bill & Rose welcome a chat. |
| :-{ | "Down-Downs" to non-sponsors |