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Royal Milan & Bordighera H³ NewsletterJune 3, 1998 |
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Royal Milan & Bordighera H³ NewsletterJune 3, 1998 |
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From: Duff Robin < rmd@msoft.it >
Date: Wed Jun 3 19:00:00 1998
Subject: #779
Hares Thunderbox and Giuseppe are concerned Safe Sox's version of their
directions will ensure you won't find your way out of Milan ;-) so wish to
add the following on how to get to Saturday's run :-
Robin,
A correction to G&R's numbers, and clarification to the directions for
Saturday:
Rebecca & Giuseppe 02/48702079 / giuseppt@tin.it
The road to Lecco is the one that goes to the West of Monza, past Cinisello.
Can't find the road number but it is an SS, and goes to Lecco. IT IS NOT the
road that goes to Lecco from Agrate, which passes to the East of Monza. The
A4 Motorway exit is for Sesto S. Giovanni/Cinisello/Viale Zara.
Now you're really confused ?
Bookings by Friday please!
Simon Safe-Sox
the original in case you have lost .... (less wrong e-mail and tel. No. !)
Exit A4 Torino-Venezia at Milano Viale Zara, and turn left toward
onza/Lissone/Lecco. At the roundabout follow Lecco, and you get onto a
6-lane superstrada heading north. Follow this for about 20 minutes till the
exit for Giussano/Erba/Como.As you come off the slip road there is a large
signpost with Giussano hand painted as straight on. So, go straight on,
past the Euromercato and towards Giussano centre. Go past a Shell garage
on the right and some road works, also on the right. Continue over traffic
lights and under a railway bridge. Turn left immediately after the bridge,
past the black prostitutes (if it's not too early) and turn right at the
top of the road. It's a T junction. Continue straight along this road,
under the bridge, over two sets of traffic lights and past a co. called
Cappellini on the left. Continue past Tamoil garage and La Spiga which is
a restaurant with a bright BRIGHT pink neon sign. You can't miss it.
About 100m past this sign on the right you will see signs for Trattoria
Santino. Follow the signs up a gentle hill, turn right and you will see a
little chapel on your right and the carpark to the restaurant on your
left. HOWEVER, continue round the corner and turn left just past the water
tower. there is another carpark at the end of this little lane.
Food consists of: primi piatti - lasagne/ravioli in brodo/ravioli in
ragu/risotto Milanese. secondi piatti - usually chicken/cervo con
polenta/roast beef and one two other choices and chips, cheese dolce - I
highly recommend the lemon sorbet. coffee and of course wine.......
All this in the most unpretentious surroundings, as Big Balls will verify,
for 25000 lire. Run Fee Lit 5,000.
Rite-Up for #778 from Bar Guast
Live Hare: Paint Stripper
Venue: Bar Guast
Good trail (20 minutes checking, 35 minutes running the correct way and 10
minutes running the wrong way and 5 minutes walking from the beer-stop). Paint
Stripper greeted Tonedeaf the Bravefart, the latter who had gone alone to the
Prague #400 at the weekend, with "ciao, where's my bl**dy Prague T-shirt?" ..
to be told "you have to go there and run first in order to get it!" A wee bit
nasty as Td had met a white faced PS, at Linate, on the Friday morning who had
just been told by Swissair that he could not go as his passport had expired
(last year).
Although Td t Bf had formulated a trail in his head that morning during his
ablutions (which would closely resemble #740 Sept'97 which he and PS had
coincidentally hared ) PS was adamant that he was going to set it on his own
and got an extra 10 minutes start as another beer had to consumed whilst
waiting on Fabulous and Short Cut to get organised. The first 10 minutes were
spent figuring out a multiplicity of check-backs in order to take us away from
the Arena and ON 2 kms to the Castello where we hit a bar. Td decided PS was
copying his #740 trail so cut away left from the bar without counting back and
sure enough ran on to a check after 50 metres. Strawberry Foreskin arrived,
followed Td's directions as per #740 and set off checking. As Sb Fs never came
back Td assumed he was still ON and went to look for the missing pack. Bart
appeared from behind a mangled car and assuming Td had seen the flour under it
followed him back to the check without saying anything. Meanwhile the rest of
the pack lead by Cellular Brogues and Leone were calling ON and going backwards
on the bit of trail we were so smart to cut out. Td assumed Sb Fs had come back
and was in there after all and on catching up with the pack 1 km later realised
he was was missing and Bart then casually mentioned the flour under the car.
Nice one PS. So back 1 km to follow the trail as it wound round Parco Sempione,
past the other side of the Arena and to MacDuff's for the Gillespie's with
finger-food laid on by the bar. Sb Fs was already there which is surprising /
suspicious as from the point of lost contact the trail followed a different
route from the one he took. He neatly deflected further interrogation by
stating that at 9pm with only 5 minutes trail to go it was good to be finishing
at a reasonable time for once, but we counteracted that by staying for more
beer and more free food duly arrived. Sb Fs who is also Hash-Cash stated the
obvious that we never make a profit on a Monday night as we are always having
beer-stops in bars and the run fee never covers even one round. (That's why we
have Saturday runs with crap but cheap beer to compensate.) He then stated that
since he took over as Hash Cash we have never made a profit on any Saturday
run. Now doesn't that tell you something? PS laid the rest of the trail and we
walked back to the Bar Guast following nothing in particular and probably off
flour. White Fang turned up for the circle in her party dress with a glass of
red followed by Cheesy Dick, both non-runners. The latter probably avoided this
run remembering #740 when he never quite made MacDuff's and passed-out
unconscious through exhaustion in another bar instead.
Down-Downs:-
Hare: Paint Stripper
Wanker: Paint Stripper for missing Prague #400. Maybe PS should be re-named
Passport Suspended or Pragueless Stop-out.
Shit: Paint Stripper for demanding Prague T-shirt.
Bastard: Tonedeaf for bringing Paint Stripper a Prague T-shirt after all.
[he is his oppo and likes Macduff's ... after all ;-) ]
Fashion: Cheesy Dick and White Fang.
Smarties: Bart and Tonedeaf for being overly reboundingly smart by running
the pack the wrong way by a lot.
Desertion: Fabulous for deserting and denouncing the circle in a mild tirade.
Right-Up for #777
Date: Saturday 23 May 1998
Hares: Hairy Mary, Liana & Bwana
Location: Lake Annone
Scribe: RoughKnight
The scene was set on a beautiful Saturday afternoon on the shores of Lake
Annone Tonedeaf and I enjoyed some cool liquid refreshments, Big Balls, Ball
Breaker, Safe Sox and La Chiave enjoyed some sunbathing and Bwana, Hairy
Mary and Liana headed off to set the trail for the 30 or so people who would
arrive later. I left Tonedeaf to collect JensC and JameyH (fellow
visitors from the land of the cows) and returned some 40 minutes later.
The actual distance to the station was 2K, however I thought they would prefer
the scenic route and some interesting banter I had with the locals i.e. "How do
we get to the lake front from here?" RK totally lost again, Ed. ). JensC
and JameyH advised me to ask the locals for directions to the restaurant
- I told them that this may be difficult as I had no idea what the name of
the restaurant was. Eventually we made it back to the bar and Jane and
Andrew (ex Istanbul HHH) joined us for some more liquid refreshments.
The clan soon started to arrive at around 5.00, and at 5.15 the hares had still
not arrived back. No one seemed particularly worried and Paint Stripper kept
up topped up with fresh supplies of beer and strawberries. Mike Lyons,
Secretary Supemo of The Mother Hash, (they don't have Grand Masters or Hash
names on the Mother hash) [chicken & egg conumdrum as Mike told me he is called
"Father" i.e. Father of the Mother hash. Td] and Maggie were visiting from
Kuala Lumpur and Mehul "Stretch" Dave was visiting from Mombasa H3 (Bwana's
old stomping ground).
Soon enough the tired and weary hares arrived back and then Bwana immediately
disappeared with Gail to the beer stop. After half an hour of waiting around,
the attention span of the Hashers was dwindling when Tonedeaf suggested a silly
[*] game called "Lets hide from Bwana". This game involved 35 or so Hashers
hiding behind a hedge. Bwana arrived back and found that his Hash had
disappeared - had he been deposed again? No, not possible as Freddie was
nowhere to be seen and there were no suitable dogs, cats, hamsters, etc. to
replace him for the day. So, Bwana sprinted off in search of his Hash, [* thus
revealing the correct On-On direction, Td] after having tried to break into a
red Fiat Panda (belonging to Cheesy Dick, and definately not the beer wagon).
At this point, to avoid further damage to Bwana's (fragile) grip on reality,
the hash appeared en masse from behind the hedge and immediately awarded Bwana
a down-down.
With everyone happily reunited, we headed off on the trail.
Two minutes into the trail Iron Bum, Mary Poppins and Chestnut arrived (only
one hour late) and Hairy Mary went back to sort them out. We reached the song
stop and had a rendition of "Father Abraham" and then continued through the
town. We reached the countryside and headed up and down false trails with
Liana now keeping a watchful eve over us as Bwana had disappeared again. We
hit a ladies check which saw Short Cut, Jane, No Grappa and me heading off in
all directions - the guys looked surprised. We came to the second song stop
where Tonedeaf and Fabulous lead us in "Singing in the rain" - Bwana appeared
again and informed us that the beer stop was close. Now on the scent of beer
we sped off with Stuffing and JensC leading us to the Red Panda which was
captained today by Gail. The beers were consumed and we were about to head off
when three characters appeared in the distance in the form of Hairy Mary,
Lorraine and Lorenzo - late comers.
We continued through the fields for a while and out on to the road where Andrew
found a kiddies ball and promptly started up Hashing a la Match of the Day with
Stretch. With the distraction of the football we apparently missed out a huge
loop and Bwana was waving his arms around and generally getting excited. We
sniffed out the beer wagon again and were treated to a second beer stop. We
had exactly 30 seconds to down the beer and head off again. I headed down a
hill with Mike Lyons only to hit a check back - we were not impressed,
particularly when later, we found out that we were already on the ON IN, and
the check was actually the first falsie of the trail which had been thoroughly
checked out by front runners 2 hour before! Then it was back up onto the path
along the lake, and even we knew we were heading for home.
After a long run we finally reached the restaurant and were reunited with the
beer wagon once again. Some of the guys headed straight for the lake and
entertained us to "Singing in the Rain" whilst swinging their shorts around
their heads. The finale was Fabulous being left in the water, minus his
shorts, in some noticeable distress, with Iron Bum and her chorus singing "He's
got an itzy, bitzy, teeny, weeny White Fang was desperately looking for a
camera - this would definitely be a first for a Hash Flash. Paint Job and
Short Cut pretended to come to his rescue, although Short Cut probably deserved
Hash Shit for at first refusing his pleas to bring the missing items into the
water and simply holding them up and telling him to come and get them!
Meantime everyone arrived back and with a roll of Celtic drums from Lorenzo we
started the circle.
I do not have a complete list of Down-Downs but from memory (vague) these were
some of them:
VISITORS: Mike Lyons & Maggie (Mother Hash), Mehul "Stretch" Dave (Mombasa)
JensC and JameyH (Bern and Zürich), Jane, Zimbabwe via England
HARES: Liana, Hairy Mary and Bwana
MILESTONES: Mary Poppins (75 Pith Helmet), Tonedeaf (250 Tappit Hen)
RE-NAMING: "Foreskin" to "Strawberry Foreskin"
Stretching it No Grappa -commenting on Brian's Hash name
Telling off the RA Bwana
Lost knickers in the lake Fabulous
Private party Gail, Judith, Lorraine
Talking in circle and impersonating beer wagon Cheesy Dick
Kuala casino Iron Bum - commenting on 5,000 hashers at KL
Mike Lyons took the floor to give some info on Inter Hash at Kuala Lumpur in
October this year. Over 5,000 people have registered (interruption from Iron
Bum - "I'm not going there - sounds like a real casino") Mike then presented
RM&BHHH with the HHH family tree - the only existing copy. Bwana was presented
with a KL Shirt, Tonedeaf with a KL shirt and a single malt whiskey [Gus ...
the Irish! St Andrews day Run vest and a 100' proof Aberlour single CASK malt
WHISKY, Td] Fabulous (who was accused by ML of dressing like a Lebanese camel
herder) with a sarong and a KL shirt and Paint Stripper with a KL shirt.
Tonedeaf was done the great honour of being re-named, by the Mother Hash
itself, "Bravefart"! Presumably an incident on the trail inspired this. [Father
was witness to the Moroccan Bandit / Brusselles mafia incidents at Eurohash
'97, Bf]. We gave Mike and Maggie down-downs and presented them with T-shirts
from the Bibione weekend. The Chef of the restaurant was given a down-down and
a Bibione T-shirt and was promptly ordered back to the kitchens via loud
speaker.
The circle was closed and we headed for the restaurant. Antipasta was served
followed by pasta and a fritto misto. The singing started and the girls, lead
by Iron Bum serenaded the male Hashers with something along the lines of
"because you're gorgeous..........". We didn't hear a Swiss song, but Scotland
the Brave was performed [Flour of Scotland, Td t Bf] Wild Rover and all the
party favourites. Stretch represented Mombasa Hash with Karibuni Kenya, and
then, guess who joined him for a duet for "Jambo Bwana". ?
Weather or not...............
RMBH3's by now legendary control over the weather was demonstrated yet again at
dinner. Mike Lyons complained to the RA that the (usual) bright RMBH sunshine
during the hash had been a little hot. Fabulous replied that it was now
raining outside, and was given a down down by Bwana who found this most amusing
as the sound was obviously the water hose on the roof. Fabulous responded with
a quick rain dance, whereupon he dragged Bwana out to the lake shore to observe
what was by now a tropical downpour, complete with thunder and lightning, and
promptly gave him a large down down.
The singing went on and then everyone departed on their way...........
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